Responding to statements of adolescents

We all remember having heard phrases older that for some reason or another you is we have been recorded (Who has not heard that from 'you who believe, what am Bank Spain? 'when asked for money?).

Often we do not realize the importance of what we hear about. Customs are like folders with information that is recorded in our brain and we there forever so that our central computer uses when necessary.

Phrases adolescents and adolescent parents phrases

The same happens with those phrases we have heard our parents; when we fly at the time of our life we ​​give the interpretation it deserves. Many of them are part of the popular wisdom that part of education that we acquire subliminally and we then is as valid.

Many of us grew up listening to phrases like 'while living in this house you do what I tell' and saying other as 'my parents do not listen to me' or 'you are always against what I say'. There are phrases we said when we were teenagers we'll listen now as parents. This is a great advantage because it assumes that we know something because we've lived, allowing us to properly use our weapons and empathize with this very difficult stage that is adolescence.

What teens feel

It is important that we connect with how we felt when we said those phrases in our adolescent stage. Close your eyes for one second, repeat one of those phrases and try to feel what we felt at that moment ... What happened? We are not again feel the emotion of incomprehension we felt then ?.

Our parents did not listen to us, they wanted to always be right, did not understand what was important to us. Many we realize when we are adults that our parents did the best they could, taking the best they were taught. When we are young we feel that our parents are always against what we say but upon reaching adulthood can come to empathize with what they felt, fear they could feel when faced with the unknown, that world posed him a teenager wanting to be himself.

Because that is one of the main objectives of adolescents: be yourself, become that person who makes a mistake and learn from it, who wants to discover by himself new things, different way to do it.

Tips for improving communication with teenagers

Target parents: listen, not argue, understand and advise our teenage children.

1. First, let's take awareness that listening is hearing more play. What we have to learn is to listen, empathic way to help us connect with emotion, being attentive to what he says and feels our son. We must be patient and paraphrasing what he tells us to confirm that we have understood. Do not forget that for us one of the hardest things is to put our internal radio; It is the hardest work we do.

2. Furthermore, we should never make judgments; we must be aware that constantly make judgments, so we must be aware of it.

3. Nor should we discuss, we must stop interrupting assuming we know what the other is going to say because then we would get to its height, we would be putting our power over him.

4. It is important to confirm that what we understand has to do with what they feel and, finally, always ask if they want our advice and help from our experience.

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Communication and bond with your baby daddy

I am convinced that the language of parents with babies is not the same that mothers have with their children. It is as if they spoke another 'language' between them. The bond of mother and child is created when the child is still in her womb. The link established with the baby's father is later. It not always achieved when the baby is born. Some parents take months to fully connect with your child.

The tenderness of parents with their babies

The bond of mother with her baby is born and reborn at every moment during breastfeeding, diapering, at bedtime, to walk, to take you in my arms. As parents, get along with the baby represents a challenge for them. Parents can not try to be another mom, nor should they. They should be themselves and establish a link with the child in his own way. At the end of the day, caring for a newborn baby it involves not only breast feeding, or have it clean and stimulated. It also requires creating bonding through touch, the game, take to sleep, assist or talk.

It is enriching for the baby that both mother and father to establish a communication channel and a link to it. My husband at first it seemed impossible diapering our daughter or feeding. He learned slowly, but because he wanted to and it proposed. There are parents who do not reach even that. They are afraid staining or 'starve' your little one. Of course, some are very funny. I remember your child to sleep at night, a neighbor dropped her baby in the stroller into the yard and went round and round with little until he fell exhausted and fell asleep.

Parents have a very particular way of connecting with their children. No doubt many of them are more resourceful, more creative and less fearful than us. Parents are very particular on these issues, especially when the baby is still very small. Some only get to interact with their children from 6 months when the baby already holding the head and begins to babble.

However, times change and it shows that today more parents are involved in caring for your baby. No matter if we believe they do right or wrong. What matters is that they try, to the extent that there are parents who, incredible as it may seem, take better care of their babies than mothers. There are parents who run it great! It may not go well with them how to dress the baby, but to take a walk, the pediatrician or to day care, they are given great. Suggest adventures, entertain while eating to soothe bedtime or reading a story, also I do very well with some. Not sure if it for that, but the first word is often say babies 'daddy'.

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Good communication in the family

Of course, there is a basic rule to improve communication in a family. Each family is a different world and has a unique language. However, there should be, as a way to improve communication, will, interest, and availability, by the parents, that this space is created and lived intensely, as far as possible. If what they want is a united family, the best way, the most successful way, it is communication.

6 Tips to foster communication between parents and children

1. Notes the type of communication that you hold with your child. He spends a few days of observation, judgment and guilt free. It works very well connect a recorder in usual times of conflict or family overload. It is a healthy exercise but sometimes difficult to accept conclusions when the harsh reality of ideal performance exceeds all expectations.

2. Active listening and reflectively each of the interventions of your children. Rate extent deserve priority over the task you are doing; in any case, our response must be correct enough not to underestimate their need for communication.

3. Pay attention to your children's requests. If we can not pay the necessary attention at the time, reason with him a postponement of the communicative act later. We can say simply: Give me 10 minutes and I am immediately with you. Recall after thanking his patience and ability to wait.

4. Responds in different ways. Avoid the use of the same type of responses systematically so that our child does not think we're always authoritarian, do you feel guilty, that we take importance to things or give sermons.

5. Leave the blame aside. If parents until now have not been a model as communicators, we think we can improve and adapt to a new form of communication that will reverse in a good for our family, relaxing or even extinct many of the usual conflicts with children.

6. Change or improvement towards more open communication. It is advisable to establish a testing time, as a week or a weekend, to assess whether it works and whether we should change something else. Parents have entrenched habits and behavior change requires effort, dedication and, above all, patience (with ourselves!).

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The dialogue in the family

How parents can communicate with their children? Theoretically it seems easy, but in practice a dialogue with children is a task that is accomplished since they are very small. There are parents who, with the best of intentions, seek to create a climate of dialogue with their children and try to verbalize absolutely everything.

This attitude can easily lead parents to become interrogators or preachy, or both. Thus, they will not be on the right track to the family dialogue. Listen, many times, it is the most recommended way.

4 Tips for dialogue and listen to the children

1. Parents who only verbalize, children end up not listen or escape evasively. In these cases, the dialogue with the monologue and communication with teaching confused. Silence is a key element in the dialogue. It gives time to the other to understand what is said and what is meant. A dialogue is an interaction and to be possible, it is necessary that silences allow the involvement of all participants.

2. Along with the silence is the ability to listen. Some people make their presentations and give their opinions without listening to others. When that happens, the caller realizes another indifference towards him and eventually lose motivation for the conversation. This situation is what often occurs between parents and children. The former believe that the latter have nothing to teach them and they can not change their opinions. just listen to their children or, if they do, is a questioningly in a watertight position on the content of the arguments of the children. This situation is common with teenagers. This is one of the most frequent errors in the parent-child relationship: the belief that a speech can change a person.

3. Let the children speak. Through dialogue, parents and children are better known, mostly known their views and their ability to verbalize feelings, but never the information obtained through a conversation will be more extensive and important than the acquired coexistence. For this reason, it transmits and coexistence educates more than verbalizing the values that are to instill. On the other hand, any dialogue must accommodate the possibility of replication. Predisposition to collect another argument and admit that it can not match the befits one of the basic conditions for the dialogue to be viable. If we start from different levels of authority, there will be no dialogue.

4. Show security. The ability to dialogue is referenced security itself having each of the partners. Keep in mind that the family is a point of principal reference for children and young people: it can learn to dialogue and, in this capacity, promote important attitudes such as tolerance, assertiveness, dialectical skill, the ability to admit mistakes and to tolerate frustration.

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Parenting styles and communication

What kind of parent you think you are? Depending on the words we address children can communicate an attitude of listening or, conversely, ignorance and neglect.

According to the psychologist K. Steede analyzes in his book The ten most common of parents and how to avoid mistakes, there is a type of parents based on answers they provide their children and that result in closed talks calls, those in which no no place for the expression of feelings or, if any, they are denied or underestimated.

What kind of parent are

1. Authoritarian Parenting 
- They fear losing control of the situation and use orders, shouting or threats to force the child to do something.
- They have very little account of the needs of the child.
- Parents who make children feel guilty.
- Parents concerned (consciously or unconsciously) that your child knows that they are smarter and have more experience.
- Parents who use negative language, misrepresenting the actions or attitudes of their children.
- Parents who use comments like 'do not run, you fall you', 'you see, as I told you so, that Meccano tower was too high and would fall' or 'you're an incorrigible messy'. They are seemingly neutral phrases that all parents use ever.

2. Parents understate things
- Parents who downplay the problems of children, especially if they really think that their problems are nothing compared to yours.
- Parents who make comments like '! Bah, do not worry, sure tomorrow ye turn to be friends' 'will not be that bad, surely approve, wearing preparing you all week', intended to immediately reassure a child or young in the middle of a conflict. But the result is an almost immediate rejection of the adult, who perceived little or no receptive to listening.

3. Parents Speakers
- Parents who make the word 'you should, the most commonly used in situations' conference or sermon'.
- Parents who talk a lot but do not give examples in their attitudes.

Finally, we must mention the number of situations where communication is synonymous with silence (paradoxically). In the life of a child, as in anyone, there are times when the most appropriate relationship goes through the company and the silent support. Before a sermon father is preferable, sometimes a pat on the back full of complicity and affection, an attitude that shows availability and, at the same time, respect for the pain or negative sentiment felt by the other.

Source consulted:
- Ministry of Education and Culture-Spain

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The language of parents and children

Language is the first system of signals used by the baby to relate to their environment and to learn from his surroundings. From the earliest age, the child learns to identify sounds and their meaning, and even distinguish the tone with which it is spoken. By nine months, the baby knows if their parents are angry or if you are treated with love and affection.

The verbal stimulation baby

Babies learn to talk during their first two years of life making learning both ways. On the one hand, his vocal apparatus testing how to make new sounds with the tongue, mouth, palate, lips and any new tooth to appear on your gums learn how it works.

On the other, the bond with their parents and communication with them is the key to transforming these sounds go into meaningful words and then sentences.

The mastery of language is essential to the learning of literacy previous step and is a way to become aware of everything that is learned from the environment in which we live. Besides the language, the child also uses other mechanisms to demonstrate, that allow you to contact others: gestures, looks, facial expressions ...

These elements reveal attitudes, feelings, biases and motivations, allowing a transcendent interpersonal communication.

Verbal and gestural languages

From the first moments of life, the baby captures the intensity of affection, appreciate if you hold or hug him; values ​​the affective tone look adult when about a toy.

This also occurs among adults and among members of a family people. Language is social and is limited by the knowledge of each. The symbols are personal and inexhaustible. The possibility of combining both languages ​​(verbal and gestural) communication means.

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10 Errors of communication in the family

When a member of a family gets home, you can receive a message of comfort or tension without the need to look at the face of the rest of the family. That usually happens with more frequency the closer the relationship in people, since in these cases more important will that be more evident perception and nonverbal communication. Sometimes, the lack of dialogue is a serious limitation to communication.

Many times, the rush of parents to receive some information, prevents them know the opinion of their children and, similarly, prevents your children realize the openness and willingness to listen to parents. The above situation is especially important in adolescence. Are multiple situations where parents are curious about what the children and these, in a situation of need, respond evasively.

Climate to create a good family communication

Another impediment to communication is the impatience of some parents to educationally influence the behavior of their children. All the educational process goes through the relationship established parents and children, and this is supported by the communication; why it is so important to preserve and maintain the joy of enjoying it. It is sufficient that parents do not want to always be right and is not convinced that communicate face.

Family life also has clear enemies to establish conversations and interpersonal relationship. The TV in the food, schedules that hinder the relaxed meeting, commuting weekend ... We must fight against these situations and adopt an attitude of resistance causing a climate that facilitates communication.

Errors that impede communication in the family

Generalizations

1- You're always sticking your sister, never obey. Surely, at some point, it does something other than beating his sister. Possibly ever it is known has itself obey.

2- Judgment of the messages that you receive: Mother, when the father comes from the street, says: It seems that arrive later today. The father replies: What ?, other days came before ?. You're always aware of the time that I come!

3- not listening to understand what they really mean others.

4- Discussions about the version of something that happened long ago. Why give so much importance to events already past?

5- Establishing labels. Always avoid cataloging the same way situations or similar behaviors, recalling a point acontemiento.

6- Application of conflicting objectives. If once you thought well, it prevents the next is upside down.

7- The place and time we choose. Choose a good time or place can encourage family communication.

8- Exposure of questions full of reproaches. Reproaches hinder good communication.

9- modes of expression. The abuse: You should, I should do; instead of: do you think if ... Maybe it suits you, I want to do, I agree, I decided.

10- Cortes in conversation. more attention is paid to what you want to say that to listen to others.

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Communication between mother and daughter

Through dialogue, parents and children are better known, mostly known their views and their ability to verbalize feelings, but never the information obtained through a conversation will be more extensive and important than the acquired coexistence.

For this reason, it transmits and coexistence educates more than verbalizing the values ​​that are to instill. On the other hand, any dialogue must accommodate the possibility of replication.

Family communication

Depending on the words we address children can communicate an attitude of listening or, conversely, ignorance and neglect. There is even parents typology based on the responses they offer their children.

Predisposition to collect another argument and admit that it can not match the befits one of the basic conditions for the dialogue to be viable. If we start from different levels of authority, there will be no dialogue.

The ability to dialogue is referenced security itself having each of the partners. Keep in mind that the family is a principal point of reference for children and young people.

Within the family you can learn to dialogue and, in this capacity, promote important attitudes such as tolerance, assertiveness, dialectical skill, the ability to admit mistakes and to tolerate frustration.

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Communication between parents and children

If dialogue is important in interpersonal relationships, communication is even in the family. Communication is guided by the feelings and the information we transmit and understand.

Communication helps us to establish contact with people, to give or receive information, to express or understand what we think, to convey our feelings, communicate Algin thought, idea, experience or information with the other, and unirmos or link up through affection and empathy.

Tips for improving communication between parents and children

When communication exists in a family, surely it can be said that there is a companionship, complicity, and an atmosphere of unity and affection at home. But above all and most importantly, it is that there is mutual respect and a well-established values ​​rooted to the origin of good relations.

Implementing these recommendations will improve the family climate to facilitate communication and trust between children and adults, including parents and children, and bring positions.

- By giving information, looking to always be in a positive way.

- Obeying the rule that "everything that is said is true."

- Empathize or put ourselves in the place of another.

- Give consistent and not contradictory messages.

- Listen with attention and interest.

- Create an emotional climate that facilitates communication.

- Ask the advice and opinion to others.

- Express and share feelings.

- Be clear when ordering something.

Dialog in the Family

Creating a climate of communication in the family, is not an easy task. We must help children with field practices, educational advice and, above all, with the example to create the right environment to facilitate that communication.

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How to help and teach children share

Children are not selfish by nature. Selfishness is also learned. How to teach children to do what many of us still have not learned? Sharing is one of the most difficult to teach social skills to children. It takes time and practice. Babies show social skills from the day they are born.

Hearing the voice of his mother, to turn his head to follow, babies are establishing a social link with their environment. Then when they start playing with their peers, they will develop social skills that will be positive or not depending on the relationships they have with their parents, relatives, caregivers and teachers.

What to do to get kids to share?

Children with positive social skills are more likely to succeed in school and in life. Therefore it is very important to list these positive social skills:

- Play well with others
- Feeling comfortable in their environment
- Share, collaborate and cooperate
- Respect your turn in activities
- Identifies and expresses feelings
- He worries with others

Do not force your child to share

One of the most difficult skills to teach is to share. Although they can learn to share from very small, most children will only be prepared to share toys and other materials from the four or five years. Before that he may not be ready to share.

1- The play groups and meetings to play with the little friends are popular forms used by families so that children have the opportunity to be in company of other children of the same age;

2- You can not force a child to share. The child must be prepared. And that should be encouraged by their parents, families and educators. The best way to educate children to know sharing is by example. Let your child see you regularly share.

3- Using words that encourage and motivate children to share is also important. When the child let another child touch his toys, congratulate him telling him that he is very good, he has a good heart and knows how to be a friend.

4- Take advantage of situations that require sharing to teach your child to do so. For example: If you have a piece of cake at home, show that they must share it together. Ask your child to do so. He will be a partaker of your good attitude. If another child visit to your home, ask your child to share his room with the child, toys, a game, or books.

5- encourages group play with your child. In addition to sharing he will learn to collaborate, to express themselves, and other social skills.

6- Do not compare your child with other children. Not all children develop at the same pace. Social skills last a lifetime and grow as we grow ourselves.

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Educating children in the value of understanding

Being understanding is nothing to show tolerance to a given situation. Children and adults showing understanding usually understand the emotions, actions or behavior of others.

It is very important to educate children to be comprehensive and can take the place of someone else, so you can empathize with others. The value of understanding, therefore, is very important since childhood and it will help children understand the differences of others and the circumstances of other children.

How to make children compressional

There are some ideas that can help parents and educators to get children to be understanding:

1- We have to make children understand that people are different and each has its flaws and virtues and they have to accept them. There are certain aspects that can not change other people such as race, religion or way of thinking and tolerate and accept them is an act of tolerance.

2- Parents have to teach our children to listen to others. It is important for them to understand the reasons for others to do something in a certain way. It's a good way to avoid acting precipitously to the conduct of another person.

3- The example is essential for children to be sympathetic to others. If we always criticize others and we do not put on your skin, our children repeat our behavior.

4- Educating children on empathy and to look through the eyes of others. We have to instill this thought: what you have done in that situation?

5- Our son must know that there are actions that are motivated by a premeditated action and other caused by carelessness. Both are different and it is convenient to value before taking a stance not sympathetic to someone.

6- In order for the child to understand what is to be comprehensive, we must make him understand that it can help find a solution to certain behaviors of others. The child must know that at times can provide advice or lend a hand to a friend if it can help.

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El coraje. Cómo enseñar a los niños el valor del coraje

What is courage? According to the American writer Mark Twain, courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not the absence of fear. It is important that children learn to have courage because it is a value that will help them cope with different situations, challenges and challenges, at school, on the street, among friends and family throughout their lives.

The value of courage for children

Parents should teach and promote the value of courage in their children, because they will help to draw strength and courage of the weaknesses, fears, teach them to fight and cope with simple challenges left drawing blood, taking injection, jump into a pool , take their first steps, ride a bike without training wheels ...

There are many ways to teach children about the concept of courage. We tell some:

1. example. Forward anything to tell children that have to be brave courage or face a situation, if the parents are all day talking about fears, against animals, the road to a work situation ... We must first show that fear and fear imprison a person and not let it go on.

2. Teach your child to have self-confidence and monitors to have good self-esteem him. These lessons will make them strong to face little challenges such as public speaking, dealing with a disease or just an annoying insect.

3. Experiments are activities that can help children stimulate courage. There is nothing better than to turn them into brave challenges. Invite your child to practice some experiments with balloons, water experiments or experiments with fire. How about challenging your child to prick a balloon without being exploited? Or make a coin disappear in a glass?

4. The films are also a good resource to explain and reflect children about courage. We refer to films with characters who demonstrate courage and bravery. Then talk to your child about what he would do in place of the character to fight the bad guy asks his opinion.

5. At school, teachers could challenge students to do a story about courage or them to tell a story of courage they know. To the best drafting a "diploma courage 'would be given to the author.

6. Books can also teach children a lot about courage. There are children's stories like 'Jack and the Beanstalk' or 'The Wizard of Oz ?, which may explain the courage to children.

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The value of punctuality in children

According defends the Royal Academy dela Spanish Language, punctuality is the care and diligence in doing things in due time. Certainly a virtue in the world in which we live becomes an obligation. That is why you must give face value children, educate them on punctuality mean a commitment for them to perform the tasks on time, arrive on time to school or to catch the last bus.

To do nothing better than to set an example, as is well known parents are the mirror where their children are reflected, therefore, we must be responsible and be punctual, but not possible career in purpose.

Punctuality, a value to work with children

Punctuality is one of the values ​​from very small to work with children. Maybe when they are smaller tend to believe that things with children take time and five minutes up or down will not lead to anything, but humans tend to take taste to such attitudes and what at first are 5 minutes, at the end turn out to be 20, and that in the future is not a trait that they will make things easier face to find a job or stay where you get. No one will hire someone who comes to a job interview 20 minutes late, or 5 minutes each day.

One of the foundations for punctuality is based on all the time or situation in life, whether it be a formal meeting, meet with friends, or with the dentist, it is sufficiently important and requires our attention and therefore our commitment from minute one with that situation.

Although as we say every situation is important, not all are equally important and it is also necessary to educate children so they know give priority to the tasks that touches them to undertake, sure it is important for them to play to the console, but the console will keep in place the next day and be on time for an examination and the lesson learned not wait to tomorrow.

Patience with children, anyone can have a cluelessness

Children are very confused and when they get to play or watch a film completely from the world around them forget, something difficult to adopt such an important value as punctuality, but is not exclusive to the smallest, whom He has not gone to heaven holy talking to a friend, or watching our favorite series. Therefore it should not be hard on them if they are not punctual at the beginning or at any given time because all can happen to us. With a bit of dialogue and understanding by parents and acquire a commitment not be repeated by the children, and certainly gradually become a more responsible and punctual child.

Although parents tipping over completely in trying to inculcate punctuality their children, if in the end they lack the will and sacrifice necessary to achieve it, it will not help. Therefore you must discover the cause of the problem, either irresponsibility, disorder or laziness, and try to fix it. Get up earlier, going to bed earlier, have fewer distractions during the day ...

Any help is little and often necessary, there are children who are misled by nature and that they could use the help of a great clock or electronic device with built-in alarm and remind the child that it's time to do so.

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The value of punctuality in children

According defends the Royal Academy dela Spanish Language, punctuality is the care and diligence in doing things in due time. Certainly a virtue in the world in which we live becomes an obligation. That is why you must give face value children, educate them on punctuality mean a commitment for them to perform the tasks on time, arrive on time to school or to catch the last bus.
To do nothing better than to set an example, as is well known parents are the mirror where their children are reflected, therefore, we must be responsible and be punctual, but not possible career in purpose.
Punctuality, a value to work with children
How to teach children punctuality
Punctuality is one of the values ​​from very small to work with children. Maybe when they are smaller tend to believe that things with children take time and five minutes up or down will not lead to anything, but humans tend to take taste to such attitudes and what at first are 5 minutes, at the end turn out to be 20, and that in the future is not a trait that they will make things easier face to find a job or stay where you get. No one will hire someone who comes to a job interview 20 minutes late, or 5 minutes each day.

One of the foundations for punctuality is based on all the time or situation in life, whether it be a formal meeting, meet with friends, or with the dentist, it is sufficiently important and requires our attention and therefore our commitment from minute one with that situation.
Although as we say every situation is important, not all are equally important and it is also necessary to educate children so they know give priority to the tasks that touches them to undertake, sure it is important for them to play to the console, but the console will keep in place the next day and be on time for an examination and the lesson learned not wait to tomorrow.

Patience with children, anyone can have a cluelessness

Children are very confused and when they get to play or watch a film completely from the world around them forget, something difficult to adopt such an important value as punctuality, but is not exclusive to the smallest, whom He has not gone to heaven holy talking to a friend, or watching our favorite series. Therefore it should not be hard on them if they are not punctual at the beginning or at any given time because all can happen to us. With a bit of dialogue and understanding by parents and acquire a commitment not be repeated by the children, and certainly gradually become a more responsible and punctual child.

Although parents tipping over completely in trying to inculcate punctuality their children, if in the end they lack the will and sacrifice necessary to achieve it, it will not help. Therefore you must discover the cause of the problem, either irresponsibility, disorder or laziness, and try to fix it. Get up earlier, going to bed earlier, have fewer distractions during the day ...
Any help is little and often necessary, there are children who are misled by nature and that they could use the help of a great clock or electronic device with built-in alarm and remind the child that it's time to do so.

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The value of fidelity in children

We all want our children to grow up with basic values ​​that facilitate their coexistence and enable them happiness. To be honest, loyal, sincere, tolerant and faithful person learns, but learns constantly and with examples where to look.

The value of fidelity, so tied to the value of loyalty is something that should not be lacking to our children. To do this, parents are the first we must be clear what really means faithfulness and what they consist of all these advantages of being a faithful and loyal person.

Explain to children what is faithfulness

Faithfulness implies commitment and responsibility therefore may take us a while to make them understand our children what it really means to be a faithful person. A faithful child is a child who does not cheat, do not lie, that assumes the positive or negative consequences of telling the truth. A faithful child is also a child who knows how to value the ties with their parents, their brothers, their friends.

Valuing people around us, making them feel they are important to us, to respect their strengths and weaknesses, support them and commit ourselves to maintain the link, are some of the key for children to understand what it means to be faithful. But if you do not see in your own home, we can do little. Once again, we face the powerful educational effect of example.

The child must understand that fidelity is a core value. Be true to your parents is not trying to deceive. Be true to your friends is to support at all times. But more importantly someone who demonstrate loyalty: be true to yourself. And that many adults still have not understood is the key to a child developing a happy childhood and become a self-confident adult.

How to teach children loyalty

The child must understand the value of fidelity day. You have to show that with a discussion not love or commitment, nor the bond between two people breaks. A fight that is not a way to remove the baby, but a way to improve coexistence. Adults remain faithful to family responsibilities and fulfill its promises, it is the most effective way for the child to learn what it means to be faithful way.

Like many other values, fidelity can be taught through children's stories. Stories that illustrate the negative result of being disloyal, betrayal or a lie, but they also show the benefits of being faithful, more friends, more confident, more happiness.

In general, the concepts related to fidelity are trust, understanding, loyalty, commitment, responsibility, friendship and respect. A whole cluster of values ​​that each child will acquire throughout their childhood and containing the best resources to be a child and a happy adult.

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The value of piety in children

One of the values ​​and virtues in which it is advisable to educate children is pity or compassion, a virtue that demonstrates the willingness to help with the problems of another person.

We currently live in a society that has lost respect for others or gossiping, and represents a lack of affection between equals, in which the end justifies the means.

How to educate children on the value of piety

First it should encourage respect for people. While it is true that may be faced with our fellow options it should always be tolerant of the other party and understand your speech or how to act.

At school, at home, in the park, any time is good to educate the child in the value of piety, but as in all aspects of education, parents will be those who have to lead by example.

It is difficult in such a materialistic world like today, instill so spiritual a child values, but godliness is a necessary virtue when forward as a society, as a union is generated, seeing each individual as equals, and not as different. There is a custom to think that we are all different, and actually are fit, but deep down we are all equal, we all have concerns, fears or defects, and therefore should be tolerant and compassionate with which we face.

While it may seem a religious value, it is a social value rather because the commandments are merely a guide social and spiritual values ​​that the world work better. Therefore, saving and stereotypes, and corroborating that not always the order of the factors does not alter the product, piety is a virtue that helps us to be a group of individuals and not about individuals grouped.

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Teach values to children: the value of forgiveness

It is sometimes difficult and sometimes too simple to be honest. We speak of forgiveness in children, the need to teach them to apologize sincerely to acknowledge their mistake and try to undo the damage. We spoke to teach values ​​to children, important values ​​such as forgiveness.

Why teach children the value of forgiveness

Some children soon discover the immediate effect of forgiveness and dealing with repeat it every time they do something they should not. But those are not sincere apologies but out of their need to settle the matter as soon as possible. Other children, however, are embarrassed, too proud or too afraid of the consequences to apologize.

In both cases it is necessary to inculcate the value of forgiveness, explaining the reasons for which an apology is necessary. Teaching children to apologize also teach values ​​such as empathy, honesty and sense of responsibility. But learning of forgiveness has to be something gradual, practical and honest.

A child who knows how to ask for forgiveness, will recognize his mistakes and take responsibility for them. A child who knows apologize is also a child who will forgive from the heart, which handles empathy and taking into account the feelings of others. But as always in the learning of children, the best lesson is the example of parents.

How to teach children to apologize

Younger children are not aware that their actions can hurt other people, so it should be inculcating the value of forgiveness gradually. If your child breaks the toy from another child, for example, you can emphasize the sadness or crying of the child who is out of toy. The way to fix the error, and providing comfort will be another distraction.

For children to understand the need to ask for forgiveness, they must first learn to respect the limits. When out of those limits it is when should apologize. We are the parents who must make them see the consequences of exceeding those limits without punishment or recreate in excess emphasize his guilt because it could be counterproductive to that in the future recognize their mistakes.

Nor should we force the child to apologize if he refuses to do so. Sometimes we have to be us who disculpemos us on their behalf. But if the child refuses to apologize at all times, it is sure need a good talk about empathy and coexistence.

The best way to teach the child to ask for forgiveness is by example. Many adults also are reluctant to accept your mistakes and apologize. If the child sees that forgiveness is practiced at home, it will be much easier for him to imitate him. Although it should remind you that an apology is not enough, but must be aware of the damage and not repeat it again.

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The charity. Teach values to children

We want our son to be honest, generous and kind. And sometimes we neglect one of the values ​​that go together to the goodness: charity. Explain what it is and what it means is the job of parents. Perhaps the best example is the way to get young to understand what this word means.

What is love and how to explain to children

For Christians, charity is one of the cornerstones in the lives of people. The three virtues that everyone should have, according to Christian theology are: faith, hope and charity. And of them all, charity is more about the person to goodness. For Christian faith, it means to love God above all things and your neighbor as yourself.

If we look in the dictionary, you might find a help when our child explain what is charity. Among other meanings are these: 'alms given or assistance provided to those in need' or 'attitude of solidarity with the suffering of others. " That is, charity is carrying out a joint action altruistically towards a needy person.

Perhaps the easiest way to explain what the charity is by example. When you see someone in need, tell your child why that person is asking for money or food. Explain that some people need help and that any gesture on your part can serve much. Let it be he who offered him a coin or something to eat.

Charity as altruistic gesture in children

Be charitable means being less selfish and think more about others. Be charitable also it means being generous. It is a virtue that encompasses many others. And although we think that children are young to understand, the fact is that between them help more than we think. Surely it not finds it hard to understand the meaning of charity.

And if not, look at the little ones. Many children are sad to see mourn another, and seek help if you fall. And share your sandwich if you see that your friend does not have. And they do selflessly, without expecting anything in return. Applauds this behavior and will have in the future a charitable son.

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Optimism in children. Teaching values

Being optimistic is also learned in the same way that other values ​​such as confidence, perseverance, etc. Optimism, like hope, is the ability that one acquires and has always hope for the best. This is one of the most positive values ​​that we can instill in children. Being optimistic is the opposite of being pessimistic.

How to teach children optimism

Optimism is fashionable. Lo 'you can' is becoming more universal day and recommended to get yourself purposes and realize all our dreams attitude. It is to believe that everything is going well in life. If you want your child to be optimistic, it is advisable that:

1. Give an example. His attitude is what really count in this process of positive education.

2. Exercise good humor with your child. Play and laugh with him with simple things like tickling or telling jokes ... there are a thousand ways to awaken the good mood in children. The good mood will increase their self-esteem.

3. Teach your child to give thanks for the food every day, have a family, friends, to celebrate birthdays, etc.

4. Tell your child that you want not only with words but with gestures and surprises. A child who feels loved is more likely to be optimistic.

5. Recognizes the good things he does or does your son. That's a good way to strengthen the feeling of success in it.

6. Teach your child to fight discouragement and negativism. Although everything seems it can not be, you need to think so.

Why optimism is important

Optimism generates both benefits and problems prevents the lives of children. An optimistic child:

- It will be less insecure

- Monitor their expectations

- You avoid apathy and boredom

- Will not fall into despair for anything

- You will be less likely to suffer from anxiety or depression to give difficulties.

- It will be more relaxed and calm. Without stress

- It will be enthusiastic and enterprising in their activities

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Empathy in children. Teaching values

Child psychologist Alicia Banderas teaches parents through his book 'Children Happy' how to educate children on the value of empathy and perseverance so that in the future will be people able to work together and deal with problems with determination.

In Guiainfantil.com we talked to Alicia Banderas what is essential for life and the future of professional dreams of children to educate them in certain values ​​such as empathy.

Educating empathy and perseverance

We are in a world where teamwork is premium. Today have a brilliant career does not guarantee you anything. Professional and general life success depends on managing emotions, how to work with people.

Empathy is educated, and a clear example of this is when a child does something wrong or cause harm to someone, then parents can have three questions thus avoiding let the problem:

1. How do you think has felt the friend who you hurt.
2. How would you feel if you had done it.
3. What can you do to fix it.

With these three simple questions you can educate the child in empathy and sociability, in the same way as for the will and determination you have to educate them in perseverance. Normally, when children are studying a math problem, for example, quickly become frustrated when they do not get the solution.

Anxiety can them and makes them stop exercising unresolved, so you have to teach children that anxiety is overcome by carefully reading the statement, breathing deeply for a few seconds and when they see that they can return to face the problem they will successfully.

If parents get their children compredan the importance of being perseverant, when life put them in difficulty they will know that a little bad at first but with perseverance to make it through.

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Teach values. Patience

Patience is one of the hardest lessons to teach children, and besides being impatient by nature and want something immediately, children do not understand the concept of time. For them five minutes, an hour or a while, is an abstract concept that can not understand, why insist again and again until they get what they are claiming.

Thus, and despite the redundancy, to teach patience, parents need to be patient. Some guidelines and educational methods will help us in this task.

How to educate children in patience

The maturity of the child is important when patients make them. A child in early childhood education with a high level of selfishness and the need for all the attention focused on him, it will cost more. In any case, it is important from the early stages and lovingly teach the value of patience to children:

1. The example of parents is crucial. If we lose the nerves before a small jam, we express how much that bothers us wait a trade row or interrupt others when they speak, we can not expect our children to behave with patience in everyday situations.

2. When the child interrupts us as we speak or expect us to stop any activity to assist, we must remain calm and once we finished what we do, engage him to understand why and in what situations has to be expected. If at this time, we shout or scold you and then explain why not try to be patient, his behavior hardly be changed.

3. To teach him to be patient we can begin to wait for a moment before solving a problem, provided it is not an emergency, so you understand that not we will go running every time you call.

4. If you want the child to wait, it is more beneficial to use concrete and not abstract examples. That is, avoid saying 'in five minutes' and used 'when you pick up the toys' or 'when we finish dinner' so you can understand how long we have to wait.

5. If we know that touch us wait in places like the doctor or drive, we carry games, stories and activities so that the child will not be done as long the wait.

6. games with several participants or team sports, will help you understand you have to wait your turn or have a role within the group and has to wait for the right time to implement it.

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Educating children to be organized

Most parents want their children to be ordained. And it can be stated that the order is necessary to achieve a full and satisfying family life.

There are children who seem to be born ordered. However, in other cases the efforts of parents seem to be frustrated. Within the values that parents should instill in their children, the order is the basis where many other important values are supported.

Creating habits in children material order

The first years of life are very important to instill order in children. Creating food habits, hygiene or studies help in the organization of the child.

Another feature of the order is that it becomes a necessity for the child, helping you to have some control over their environment and giving it stability.

Before creating a series of habits for day to day the child should take account of the objectives to be achieved should be realistic and progressive adapted to the age of the child. It should also recognize the progress closely and the child's effort, either with praise or awards.

Routines or habits Chained actions are very important for the child to relate every moment of the day with the actions to be carried out. For example, when you get home from school the child needs to know that first of all is changing clothes, then wash your hands, then help set the table and finally sit down to eat. This series of routines serve to internalize order in the way of life and the child's conduct effortless.

But the child, as a member of the family, should know that you also have responsibilities according to their age and ability. It can help parents in household chores, thus learn to work together and to collaborate at home since childhood.

Coexistence and family harmony deserve this small effort to bring order to our lives. This change may serve to help our children for the future and to find peace and tranquility needed in the family.

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Compassion. Educating children in values

What is compassion? Compassion is a value that makes us more sensitive and more humane face the difficulties and problems of others. It is a feeling of pity that have towards the evils and misfortunes of others.

It is necessary to teach the child to be compassionate to illness, hardship, bad situations and realities of others. How to educate children to be compassionate?

Arouse feelings of compassion in children

Parents and educators are responsible, in first line, in taking children to learn compassion. Follow some tips on how to educate them in compassion:

1- The children's stories are a good way to arouse feelings of compassion in children. We have the story "A rabbit on the road", so that they can start parents and educators.

2- Parents should teach values ​​like compassion, by example, and by being compassionate and company visit a neighbor or sick friend, or grandparents.

3- Educators must also teach compassion by example, being compassionate with students who have trouble learning.

4- It is important to talk to children about compassion, about how crucial it is to reach out to the person who has a disability or difficulty. Not enough to feel grief or sorrow, you have to provide help and assistance.

5- We must also take the kids to feel compassion for those who ask for alms in the streets, who have nothing to eat, abandoned and defenseless animals ... and try to help in some way.

6- compassion is advisable to work well in children's activities such as coloring. It is also learned playing. Color or paint drawings reflecting compassionate feelings and attitudes, can help children to internalize this value.

7- In games, children can also arouse feelings of compassion towards disappointment and frustration felt by those who lost the game, as well as to those who fell and those who could not, by any impediment, participate.

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The responsability. Teach values to children

Educating children is a responsible long-term task that requires dedication. To foster a sense of responsibility in the nNOS is advisable to start training them gradually commitment, trying to from small children take charge, within its capabilities, to pick up your room, setting the table, to organize your backpack or your suitcase.

What does being responsible for children?

Responsibility as a social value is linked to its commitment. The responsibility ensures compliance with the commitments and generates confidence and peace among people. All responsibility is closely linked to the obligation and duty. Both concepts are the raw material of responsibility.

Through games or group activities, it is easier and more fun, teach the sense of responsibility to children and are more likely to understand their 'duties and obligations'. Be responsible in the global sense of the word means:

1. Responsibility for oneself: I am responsible to make my desires, my choices and my actions, my personal happiness, choosing the values ​​by which I live and to raise the level of my self-esteem.

2. Responsibility to the tasks to develop: I am responsible for how I distribute my time and do my duties and backlogs.

3. Liability consumption: I am responsible for my expenses, to care for my stuff and choose gifts for Christmas, Birthday ...

4. Responsibility towards society: I am responsible for my behavior with others: co-workers, family, friends and communicate correctly with others.

Guidelines for children to learn to be responsible

1. Each time you assign a task to your son / daughter and accept the compliance with it, you must accept also meet the given word.

2. If you mess up, accept your mistakes with humility and invite your child to do what you need to return to the right path.

3. Teach the value of self-commitment. It is critical for a responsible person, and you should always keep in mind that you must meet other people, without forgetting that the first person has a duty to oneself.

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Teach values. The example

The example is one of the most valuable educational tools with which parents have. It is at home where children find their best school, and the family provides the child with all stimuli for development and growth.

It is in the family where children learn to talk, to behave, to relate, to live. Relationships between parents and children are therefore the main source of learning for the child. Therefore, our example, will be key in educating children. Our behavior, will the future behavior of our children.

Tips to educate our children by example

The example is the basis for the child to acquire another set of values ​​such as generosity, kindness, respect, sincerity, tolerance, perseverance. If parents do not show these values ​​in their daily lives, it will be difficult to children can develop. It is essential to be aware of the impact our example in the education of our children.

1. The behavior of parents has more impact than words. If a parent asks the child to be generous, but he does not make the act of sharing, the child can hardly acquire the value of generosity. Being consistent is essential. We can not demand that we ourselves do not do.

2. The example is not only related to dealing with others but refers to any action of life, whether hygiene, speech or even how to eat. Our children will learn of any action we undertake.

3. There is no age to begin to lead by example, from an early age children see their parents as if they were looking in a mirror. Educating in more than a form of education example, it is a lifestyle that children acquire, so we have to be careful and very neat in our behaviors.

4. It is necessary to have time for the children so they can learn from parents and their behavior. If we delegate the education of the children to school, caregivers or grandparents may not get the values ​​we want to inculcate.

5. Parents need to be aware at all times watching us, therefore, if we lose patience at a given moment, we do not control our words or act wrong, our children will be there to learn from what we are doing, scoring and filing in his memory.

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Consistency. Teach values to children

Consistency is a value that is transmitted by example. Parents should be consistent with what they say and do. If there are contradictions between his words and deeds, they will be creating confusion and difficulties within his family.

In the education of children, the value of consistency is seen as a characteristic of authenticity in life. Consistency is what gives meaning to fidelity, honesty, sincerity and many other values ​​that are related.

Tips to help children to be consistent

A maxim that children should understand to be consistent is that you can not do the opposite of what is thought or said. Being consistent is to act on a number of principles on which our values ​​are based.

The division, falsehood, the split between what you think, say and show that unity is missing in the way of life. We must all make a daily effort to achieve unity in life, which in turn leads us to become more consistent. The unit in the life of a person understands both their thoughts and their works, and not endiende cracks between them.

For consistency part of the lives of children and their personality in the future, we must turn this challenge into a challenge. Among the tips to teach children to be consistent highlight:

1. Provide the child life experiences to put you in touch with ethical, spiritual, religious or transcendental aesthetic dimensions of life. This can be done through reading, or through contact with adults who grow and express.

2. Give truthful answers. Respond in a timely manner the questions asked by children about vital events such as birth, old age or death.

3. Give importance to values. Make present the value of life and human dignity.

4. Taking care much good example. Consistency in the performance itself is very important because children tend to value them as good when they see adults with whom have emotional commitment.

5. Create an environment of trust in the family, and not fear.

6. Cultivate a sense of justice and responsibility and let the children form their criteria. Answering the questions of children with rational arguments and not just emotional. Offer experiences within the dynamics of family life where the values ​​of justice, solidarity, truth and honesty to express themselves.

7. Reasoning with children the validity of the rules that give them leverage their sensitivity and great moral principles to be forming his conscience.

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Cooperation or collaboration. Teach values to children

What is cooperation? How can you explain to a child what it means to collaborate? Cooperation or collaboration is the task of helping and serving, in a selfless manner, to others. To that children are individuals collaborating and cooperating, we need to develop in them a generous, caring and altruistic spirit. Follow some tips on how to get children to cooperate.

How to get children to cooperate

There are some ideas that can help parents and educators to get children to cooperate:

1- Considering the age and abilities of each child, it is important that every little cooperate and collaborate in the housework. Children can sort the toys, make the bed, put on and remove the table, etc.

2- At school, children can also practice collaboration. They can help peers who have some difficulty learning, help your teacher to distribute materials or give any message, etc.

3- Contributing is everyone's responsibility and also of parents and educators to children. It is taught to collaborate, working with them in their work, in their daily lives, in learning a game, help them get dressed, eat, etc.

4- You can get children to cooperate motivating them by the desire to serve spontaneously.

5- Children must be participants of tasks both at home and outside it. They should be considered when assembling a project. For example, in preparing a birthday party in the organization of the house, etc.

6- Cooperation teach children by example. If children see their parents collaborating attitudes toward others, they will be motivated to practice them and imitate them.

7. It is important that children know what to expect from them, ever, and that we recognize the good attitude to have.

8- Make a favor to someone else is also a way to cooperate or collaborate.

9- should teach children to be alert and earrings, seeing if anyone needs help. This will be feeding the altruistic and service spirit in children.

10- activities such as sports and crafts, can encourage children to collaborate and cooperate.

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How to help and teach children share

Children are not selfish by nature. Selfishness is also learned. How to teach children to do what many of us still have not learned? Sharing is one of the most difficult to teach social skills to children. It takes time and practice. Babies show social skills from the day they are born.

Hearing the voice of his mother, to turn his head to follow, babies are establishing a social link with their environment. Then when they start playing with their peers, they will develop social skills that will be positive or not depending on the relationships they have with their parents, relatives, caregivers and teachers.

What to do to get kids to share?

Children with positive social skills are more likely to succeed in school and in life. Therefore it is very important to list these positive social skills:

- Play well with others

- Feeling comfortable in their environment

- Share, collaborate and cooperate

- Respect your turn in activities

- Identifies and expresses feelings

- He worries with others

Do not force your child to share

One of the most difficult skills to teach is to share. Although they can learn to share from very small, most children will only be prepared to share toys and other materials from the four or five years. Before that he may not be ready to share.

1- The play groups and meetings to play with the little friends are popular forms used by families so that children have the opportunity to be in company of other children of the same age;

2- You can not force a child to share. The child must be prepared. And that should be encouraged by their parents, families and educators. The best way to educate children to know sharing is by example. Let your child see you regularly share.

3- Using words that encourage and motivate children to share is also important. When the child let another child touch his toys, congratulate him telling him that he is very good, he has a good heart and knows how to be a friend.

4- Take advantage of situations that require sharing to teach your child to do so. For example: If you have a piece of cake at home, show that they must share it together. Ask your child to do so. He will be a partaker of your good attitude. If another child visit to your home, ask your child to share his room with the child, toys, a game, or books.

5- encourages group play with your child. In addition to sharing he will learn to collaborate, to express themselves, and other social skills.

6- Do not compare your child with other children. Not all children develop at the same pace. Social skills last a lifetime and grow as we grow ourselves.

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